


Entoptic Visions

by Kaiperion



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, also what even is dreams, dailyr76, soft old men make soft old love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 02:06:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14274579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaiperion/pseuds/Kaiperion
Summary: Jack is mostly blind and can't see too much that isn't right in front of him. Gabriel has chronic pain, terrible knees, and nightmares that torture him consistently with things he yearns for. They're both used to seeing things that aren't there. One thing they're slowly learning together is how to feel again. It won't happen overnight, reconciling rarely happens so easily, but they can feel what they need from each other and for this moment it's enough. Just enough.For the DailyR76 contest; "Old Dogs, New Tricks" prompt!Tumblr





	Entoptic Visions

**Author's Note:**

> Yall im so tired. Waited til the last minute mostly cuz I kept changing my damn mind on what to write about rip

The clock ticked on the wall, glass face weathered with time making reading it nearly impossible. The paint of the wall it sat on was peeling and the various knick knacks on it were covered in a thick layer of dust like it had been years since anyone had visited.

To be fair, the building wasn’t that large. More a cabin in the chilly woods of an isolated mountain range in Alaska. Previously it had been used as a safe house for Alaskan ops but now it was useless and therefore perfect for the inhabitants inside. It wasn’t tied to any power grid and instead used its own generator to power anything electrical. Everything else used the old fashioned method of fire for things like heating.

One room made up the whole thing. Cramped for a larger man much less two but the bed was comfortable at least. A fireplace in front of it, far enough back not to cause a fire, provided warmth for the whole cabin and to the left of that, a small kitchenette by the door to the outside. To the right of the fireplace was a stack of firewood and some chairs around a coffee table that had been piled high with tactical gear colored black, red, white, and blue. Dumped there unceremoniously. A pulse rifle sat on the chair closest to the bed for easy reach.

In the bed Jack and Gabriel laid facing each other, neither speaking but simply staring at each other as the icy winds howled outside. They had stripped down to their under armor and huddled close, noses almost brushing with their proximity, but their shared body heat didn’t seem to do much to stop Gabe from shivering slightly.

Jack internally mused at how strange it was that being dead hadn’t made him numb to the cold. Some things were apparently ingrained. Gabe was made for tropical weather, not this winter hellscape.

Subconsciously he shifted closer and Gabe sighed. A little bit of wiggling later and Jack was able to coax the blanket from under them and cover them with it. That was around the time he noticed just how tired the other man looked. Downright exhausted even.

Only a minute passed before Gabe’s eyes closed slowly and he jerked, blinking them back open quickly, trying to keep himself awake. Jack on the other hand had never less tired and he frowned at the effort the other man was putting into trying to stay awake.

He reached up tentatively and slow, allowing time for Gabe to reject him, and, finding nothing in the other man’s eyes except for possibly a plea to continue, he brushed the pads of his fingers against the side of Gabe’s face, mindful of the open sore festering quietly on his cheek as the nanites worked on that patch of degeneration. Things had definitely changed but… this… this feeling he felt, this intimacy and unbridled affection remained strong. This was still his husband. Nothing would change that.

At the gentle contact, Gabriel leaned into the touch and sighed, his own hand raising up to cover Jack’s, feeling the cool metal of his wedding band. It encouraged Jack to go further, to lean up and press his lips ever so softly against his husband’s forehead.

The air seemed to get colder for a minute, barely a breath between them as though they were holding it. Then Gabriel suddenly let out a huff of breath that sounded something between a choked sob and a pleading whine.

Jack pulled back quickly with concern but Gabe leaned after him, lifting his face up, lips slightly parted and his expression yearning. He recognized that look well enough and quirked his lips in apology at his misunderstanding.

And then he leaned forward and pressed their lips together ever so gently and while there wasn’t much to it besides the baring of their souls to each other, it still left the breath between them as shaky as the tremble Gabriel still held due to the cold when they finally pulled back.

Jack stared for a moment, happy to have Gabe close enough he could see him clearly, and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Gabe pushing forward and silencing him with a deeper kiss, this one more accurate to the dehydrated man dying in the desert desperate for a glass of water. A leg over slipped over Jack’s hip and tensed pulling them closer together at the hips until Gabe pushed and rolled Jack onto his back, straddling him, nearly 475 pounds of super soldier suddenly on his lap that thankfully his own stocky mass was able to counter.

Instinctively his hands fell to Gabriel’s thighs and stroked them gently as their kiss deepened even further, a gentle slide of tongue against tongue and shuddering breath. As soon as the other man’s hips pushed down, Jack raised his own into the thrust finally making Gabriel break the kiss to gasp softly and groan, burying his face in the dusty pillow under Jack’s head.

Jack chuckled and didn’t hesitate to press kisses against his neck, feeling any tension the other man held leave immediately. He trailed those feather light indents up to just behind his husband's, murmuring between gentle press, "Tell me what you want, Gabe. Talk to me."

Gabriel's breath hitched as Jack nipped at his skin lightly and he slowly pulled back to sit fully on Jack's lap, something the other man was slightly disappointed with as he couldn't clearly see Gabe's face anymore. Still, despite the blur, his face was the clearest and brightest thing in the room. Always had been even before his eyes devolved into the unseeing mess they currently were.

Jack reached out and Gabriel leaned down to meet him, hand sitting warm and grounding against his neck, thumb rubbing reassuringly against his pulse point, just happy to feel his skin again. An intimate thing he never thought he'd ever be able to feel after Zurich. It was cathartic and emotional and Gabe was bearing the brunt of it if the red puffiness of his eyes were any indication.

Gabriel placed his hands against Jack's chest to brace himself and closed his eyes as though he didn't want the other man to see, but a tear slipped out anyway and Jack frowned. "Gabe-..."

"I'm okay." Another steadying breath and he arched his back a little to grind his hips again.

Jack grunted in response, but reciprocated, rising up to meet him, "Talk to me please."

"I'm _okay._ " Gabriel repeated, starting a slow circle with his hips, wanting.

"You're ready to pass out." It wasn't unexpected. The first time either of them had been able to find a night together and of course their bodies felt safe around each other enough to try and catch up on all the sleep they had missed in the last six years due to the other's absence.

"No. I can stay awake this time..."

 _This time?_ Jack thought with slight confusion and concern, "Gabe?"

"I can. I'm fine. I- _mmh_..." Gabriel's head bowed suddenly and he quickly lifted one hand to his eyes as though to scrub the exhaustion away.

"Hey..." Jack carefully reached up to cradle his face, noticing the nodding way his husband was struggling to keep his head up. "You're too exhausted for this. We don't have to push it. This can wait. You need to rest."

It was quiet for a moment. Long enough that Jack had to squint to catch Gabe's expression through the blur.

Then...

"I can't."

"Gabe..."

"I _can’t._ I can't lose you again. I can't lose this. Not right now. I need this." He sucked in a shuddering breath and his voice hitched on the next words. "Need _you.”_

Jack's concern only grew from there. Gabriel's words weren't making any sense. "You need to _sleep,_ Gabe. You're confused."

" _No!”_ Gabriel shook his head free of Jack's hands and bowed his head again, "No... Please. I miss this. I miss you. Don't make me lose this again. I don't want to wake up."

"You haven't even gone to sleep yet, Gabe. You're not thinking clearly."

" _Please.”_

"Look at me." Jack grabbed his face again and Gabriel's hands covered his in response but didn't try to push them away. He waited until he was sure his husband's eyes were on him even though he couldn't really see enough to tell for sure, "I don't know what you think is going on right now but I need you to trust me. I'm not going anywhere. You can sleep for a little while and I promise- Gabriel, _I promise on my own grave_ that I'll be here when you wake up."

He felt Gabriel suck in a sharp breath and release it with a choked sound and his heart broke just a little more.

He carefully pulled his husband down to kiss his forehead, chapped lips pressing the promise into Gabriel's skin before tucking his head under his chin, "It's okay, Gabe. You can relax for now. It's okay."

Gabriel was silent for a moment before he spoke in the quietest voice Jack had ever heard him speak in, speech slightly slurred by his quickly fading consciousness, "Please, Jack. Stay."

"I'm here."

Gabriel tucked as close as he could and gripped onto Jack's under shirt as though he were afraid of the other man evaporating into thin air despite having over four hundred pounds of meaty husband laying on top of him. Shadows danced around his vision as he tried to fight that ever-present, lurking darkness that was actively consuming him. Whispers kissed against his ears enticing him to close his eyes and take that final leap into unconsciousness, but he had been here before. Those whispers told lies of rest and happy dreams but all they had ever delivered to him were nightmares of fire and superheated rebar, choking on blood and suffocating on smoke. Of being held down, kept in the dark, split apart again and again and again in so many different ways, dying so many times he lost track, screaming his throat raw over loss and betrayal and pain until he couldn't scream anymore. And, of course, of things that were just out of his reach.

Things like this. Like Jack holding him and kissing him and whispering loving things to him. Things he missed so much it made him ache. It was so much, too much, and not enough and he hated that he always fell asleep during these moments and woke up alone every time. Just like now. He knew it. He just knew.

But it was too late to fight further. The dreams shadows had their claws in him dragging him down much quicker than he had ever been dragged before. It was disorienting and terrifying as all falls were but this felt more potent somehow.

Gabriel clung to this dream Jack as tightly as he could and murmured, "Stay..." once more before he gave up on this one and let it happen.

He was out before he could even hear Jack's response.

* * *

Gabriel woke slowly... softly...

A rarity. The bed was softer than he remembered. He blinked his eyes open and...

He didn't recognize this safe house. It was too clean. Too bright. Too... open.

Was that...?

He shifted under cool down comforters and sat up. Gauzy drapery hung around the room, blowing softly in the wind produced by the open bay doors. He could hear the sound of waves crashing against a shoreline. In the distance, seagulls cried.

Where was he?

Where was...?

He looked quickly to his side, always so hopeful. He should have known better by now.

The other side of the bed was empty. It always was. No matter where he woke up. A painful reminder.

His throat closed for a second, abandonment rearing its ugly head and making him dizzy. A tight grip on his chest, lodging in his ribs like cement and expanding, threatening to choke him to death. A shuddering, almost wheezing breath, and he curled into himself, head between his knees trying to steady his breathing, to keep from entering a full blown panic as was ritual around this time after a dream like that.

A full eight minutes or so of deep breathing exercises, and he finally was able to fight it off. Most morning he wasn't so lucky.

He lifted his head slowly, looked around for a clock, finding no indication of the time except for the soft morning glow of the sun. He scrubbed his hands over his head, fingers scratching through growing curls that he'd shave off soon, then slid them down his face, taking a last steadying breath to prepare him for the day.

A quick glance around showed the absence of his tactical gear and looking down at himself didn't provide any clues. All he had on was a pair of soft, white pajama pants that he had no recollection of putting on or even owning. The room was too small for it to be hidden where. No cabinets or closets for it to hide in with the exception of the kitchenette off to the left side which he was pretty sure he wouldn't put it. The only other place would be outside or under the bed.

Gabriel slowly tugged the blankets to the side and stepped onto hardwood flooring, idly thinking this place was way too upscale to what he was used to. Maybe Sombra had dragged him here after a bad pain episode? He'd have to find some way to thank her that didn't result in her teasing him about it.

Looking under the bed first, he found nothing. That left outside then.

He sighed and quietly walked to the bay doors only to be hit instantly by the smell of sea foam and sunshine. Home.

The sun hadn't risen over the horizon yet but it was getting there, casting the sky in brilliant hues of yellow and pink, the colors sparkling against the waves as the ocean crashed them against the sand of the beach.

He'd really have to thank Sombra now. Beachfront property? No one around for miles? What did he do to deserve this preferential treatment? Where even was this safe house and how was he just finding out about it?

He couldn't help but take a deep breath. It helped to push away the lingering panic from earlier, and he leaned against the deck railing with his eyes closed, taking in the sounds and smells and remembering when everything was.... so much simpler.

At least until the bitter reminder that anyone who had been around to share it with him would immediately disown him if they knew who he was and what he was doing and had done. Always a tough pill to swallow, that one.

Almost as tough as the damn dreams. Like the one he just woke up from. But he liked them the most. They embodied everything he missed and needed and wanted even though he believed it was no longer possible. Sometimes he found if he could stay 'awake' in dreamland he could squeeze more time out with this apparition of Jack, something he knew he didn't deserve and he was foolish to crave it but desperate and selfish enough to reach for it every time. He always fell asleep in the dream when he tried to push too far and would wake up cold and alone and aching and yeah it hurt. It hurt so damn much, but they were the only things keeping him moderately sane anymore. He needed them and he was beyond denying them.

The seagulls continued to cry, the waves continued to crash...

This was... the only semblance of peace he could ever allow himself.

An arm wrapped around his waist from behind and he spun quickly, preparing to rear back and elbow his attacker in the nose, but he stopped cold.

"Jack?"

"Easy! It's just me!" The familiar and entirely unexpected man held his hands up placatingly, trying to seem harmless, unthreatening. "Sorry. I should have warned you I was coming up behind you."

The adrenaline screaming through Gabriel's system had him trembling slightly, eyes wide, confused. "I-... How... How are you here?"

Jack cocked his head to the side for a moment, lips pursed. Then, "Does it matter?"

"Yes."

The frown Gabriel received wasn't unwarranted, he assumed, but this whole situation had just become very... confusing. Something wasn't right. "I went to the outhouse. There isn't a bathroom here you know. I just wanted to shower."

"That isn't what I-..."

"Look, Gabe. I'm here now. Does it matter how?"

" _Yes._ " He didn't know if he could take two of these dreams in the same night.

Jack took a step closer and Gabriel backed away until his back hit the deck railing. A blink and suddenly Jack's hands were framing his face, “ _Look at me.”_ His words sounded distorted, as though they were spoken outside of this realm of existence and in another. “ _I don't know what you think is going on right now but I need you to trust me.”_

Déjà vu hit Gabriel so hard it almost made him sick, but Jack didn't stop there, stepping closer and trapping him, "What...? What did you say?" The charge between them was suddenly intense, like some kind of magnetism pulling them closer together and trying to push them apart at the same time.

" _You need to sleep, Gabe. You're confused._ "

"I just..." Gabe huffed a light breath in confusion, "I don't-... I just woke up..."

" _You're exhausted.”_ Jack was crowding him and the panic was creeping back in with the claustrophobia.

"Stop it..." He held an arm out to keep some distance between the two of them but somehow Jack was stronger and ignored any pressure he put against him.

" _You're about to pass out.”_

"Stop."

" _Sleep.”_

"I said _stop!”_

" _Sleep!”_

" _Jack!”_

" _Wake up!”_

* * *

Gabriel jerked awake so violently, the headboard to the bed slammed into the wall. Beneath him was solid warmth, a body. Familiar. Jack.

_Jack._

He scrambled back a bit ending up at the foot of the bed panting with eyes wide and unfocused. The fire had died out but the wind was still whipping outside providing an eerie ambience to the situation.

Jack groaned and sat up. He'd have a bruise where Gabriel dug in his elbow, but that was nothing. There were more pressing matters at hand. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes quickly and moved into action, following his husband to the foot of the bed to see his expression as clear as possible but keeping moderate distance between them, "Hey, sunshine, talk to me. What's got you spooked?"

Gabriel blinked and looked around, confusion twisting his expression and then a kind of despair that Jack wasn't expecting. He inhaled sharply and held it before it tried to escape all at once as a choked sob, "I don't... understand..."

Jack shifted a bit and he noticed the way Gabe leaned away from it and frowned, "What don't you understand, baby?" He slowly reached a hand out, "Can I touch you?"

The other man swallowed, contemplating, then nodded, closing his eyes and waiting for the touch.

This time when Jack touched him there was a charge but it was different. Solid. Real.

"Come here." Jack left the movement up to Gabe and was silently please when it only took a moment of hesitation before he was crawling onto Jack's lap again and tucking himself close.

"You're real." Gabriel said quietly. Simple. Matter-of-fact. And yet he spoke as though he was just realizing it.

"I try to be." Jack wrapped his arms around his husband and slowly stroked up and down his back, kissing his temple. Gabriel snorted but offered no further commentary.

They sat like that for what seemed like hours but was probably closer to half of one. Jack wondered idly if the other man had fallen back to sleep but suddenly Gabriel pulled back and looked at him as though searching for the answer to the universe's most vexing question.

Whatever he found must have been satisfactory because he leaned forward and pressed their lips together gently, a sigh leaving him.

When he pulled back, Jack pressed their foreheads together and tried to hold that amber gaze with his own. "Are you alright?"

Gabriel's eyes downcast. "No." He responded, "But I'm okay."

Jack nodded in understanding, "Do you need to talk about it?"

There was a moment of pondering and then, "Probably. But later."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright."

A silence passed between them. Not heavy or overbearing but just... there. They sat breathing each other in, foreheads still pressed together, eyes closed.

Then Gabriel nuzzled forward slightly, rubbing their noses together, searching lazily. Jack was well-versed enough to know of that small request. He tilted his head and pressed their lips together.

It started off simple, a gentle thing, barely more than lips pressed together, but suddenly Gabriel pushed and deepened the kiss, groaning slightly and sending the sound shooting through Jack's nerve endings. He readjusted his position in Jack's lap and sighed into his mouth before deepening the kiss further, turning it into a ravenous thing, Jack unprepared but not unwilling to shoulder the onslaught.

At least until they both needed air and Gabriel refused to allow it.

Jack pulled back and they panted for a moment, Gabe immediately trying to dive back in but unsuccessful. "Easy..." He said gently, "Talk to me, Gabe. What do you need?"

There was no hesitation with the answer, "You."

Jack's lips quirked, noticing the plea in Gabe's eyes, understanding the need to be as close as possible and how cathartic it would be to feel that close with each other again. He got it; knew why Gabe needed it, was desperate for it, and he wasn't falling asleep on him so Jack was inclined to allow this one. He wanted to be close to Gabe too. He needed this too. "How do you want me?"

"Like this."

Easy enough. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Gabriel surged back into him like a wave cresting, rising onto his knees around Jack's hips and Jack was barely able to keep from falling back onto the pillows. He kept the kiss going until they had to break apart so Gabriel could pull his under armor over his head. Jack followed his lead quietly, catching the rebounding kiss, their teeth clacking together with the force.

"Easy, angel, slow down." Jack murmured against his lips and Gabriel whined in response. Jack chastely kissed him once before sliding his lips down Gabriel's neck, pressing kisses into the taught skin there as his husband tilted his head for better access. He nipped at the tendon there and Gabriel's breath hitched.

Suddenly, Gabriel tensed and leaned away carefully, "Wait..."

"What's wrong?" Jack asked, concerned that he had overstepped somehow.

"Nothing, I just-... You can't see well. Are you okay with this?" Gabe bit his lip in concern, brows furrowing gently causing little wrinkles to show up between them, "Do you want me to lead instead?"

Jack was quiet for a moment, processing, before he suddenly laughed loudly and hugged Gabriel close, pressing his face into his chest and feeling the raised skin of scars and the strange warmth and cold his skin held, like it was too cold and Jack's own body was the only thing giving it any kind of heat. "Oh, Gabe..." He giggled a little more and felt the confusion radiating from the other man. He looked up suddenly with a confident, sly smile, resting his chin on one of Gabe's pectorals, "If there's one thing losing most of my sight has taught me, it's how to lead with my hands."

Gabriel blinked down at him before his lips quirked and he snorted, pushing Jack's face away half-heartedly, "You're a dork."

A snicker slipped out as Gabe's hand pushed him off, "Maybe." but he quickly whipped back to his place and gave the nipple there a soft nip making Gabe squirm slightly, "But I don't need to have 20/20 vision to feel you like this." He slid his hand up Gabriel's back, feeling all the vertebrae in his spine and the metal plating that started in the middle and traveled up towards his neck.

Gabriel hummed with a shiver and leaned forward until their foreheads were touching again.

"You ready to try again?" Jack asked, acknowledging that their momentum had faltered a little. The soft nod he received was enough of an encouragement. His hands found Gabriel's hips again, thumbs stroking the skin over the bone there gently, "Can't get very far with all this in the way can we?" He tugged lightly at the waistband of Gabe's pants.

Gabriel just stared down at him, eyes glassy in the low light and Jack almost swore that they glowed with that same iridescence found with animals at night. More than that, the look was almost a challenge. A dare perhaps. And Jack was more than willing to rise to the bait.

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Gabe's sternum between his pecs as his hands slid beneath the black fabric and the underwear beneath that to grab the round globes of his husband's ass with a firm grip. He squeezed just enough to hear a huff leave the other man as he rested his cheek on top of Jack's head.

The pants were tight enough that all it took was a simple flex of his wrists before they snapped down and Jack could push them the rest of the way over his ass and down his thighs, taking the boxer-briefs with them. When he reached Gabriel's knees, he gently used a shoulder to encourage the other man to lean back away from him so he could extend his legs and Jack could pull the pants the rest of the way off. Thanks to their super soldier strength, Jack was able to hold him up with one hand as he did this, using the other to slide the fabric down Gabe's leg, feeling the skin and muscle beneath his palm, remembering how he adored it. How he _still_ adored everything about this man.

And then Gabriel was naked and in his lap. Still perfect and beautiful despite the addition of new scars and those strange sore spots where his nanites were having a battle healing his degeneration. Jack tenderly brushed the skin around those spots in reflection, idly wondering what could have been done to save Gabriel from this obviously painful fate, but Gabe's suddenly tensed a leg and jostled him to get his attention.

At first Jack thought it was because he was trying to move things along but further inspection showed the red tint to Gabriel's cheeks and how he squirmed to sit up and get closer, hiding most of himself from view.

Well that wouldn't do.

"Gabe..." Jack frowned a little, allowing his husband to cling despite it, "You're beautiful."

He felt a nose dig into his collar a little, "Okay, just... don't look for right now alright? Please?"

Jack's frown deepened, saddened that the other man thought so little of his body as to hide it. But Gabriel's trauma was great and they hadn't even scratched the surface of everything he'd been through since Zurich. So he figured pushing his luck here was asking for a wall to be built and that wasn't anything that Jack ever wanted between them again. He pressed a soft kiss to Gabe's forehead, "Alright. Let me know if you get uncomfortable and we can stop."

"Mmm... Don't wanna stop." Gabe pulled back, rising on his knees again and nudging Jack's hips with them, "Pants off now."

"No less demanding I see." Jack chuckled as he let go of his husband, trusting him to keep himself upright while he tugged his pants off in the awkward position and tossed them to the side, Gabriel kissing and nipping at his ear and neck.

Finally they were flush together, no pesky cloth barriers to keep them from feeling each other fully and Gabriel nearly melted into his lap, smoke gently wafting from him in his descent as he sighed. This was exactly what he needed, to be held close and laid bare. _Loved_.

"How do you wanna-..." Jack pursed his lips, "Do you have lube?"

Gabriel suddenly stilled.

"Gabe...?"

"I have some but... but you can't laugh."

Oh no. "What is it?"

Gabe made a worried sound before pulling back and dissolving in Jack's arms, sand-like tendrils reaching over towards the gear on the coffee table on the side of the room, pushing things around until they found one of the red canisters that Gabe usually kept on a belt at his waist and rushing back to Jack's lap and reforming. He pulled the cap off with his teeth in a hurry and dumped the contents into his hand, providing a half-empty bottle of lube before throwing the canister over his shoulder for it to bounce against the floor somewhere next to the fireplace.

Jack blinked for a moment, staring at the bottle before he felt a soft snort start at the back of his throat which he quickly squashed, "You, uh... You have lube at your waist at all times, huh?"

"I said don't laugh!"

"I'm sorry! It's just..."

"Do you remember during second round shots when everyone on base was horny as shit for a solid three weeks?"

The reminder was a bit of a throwback but he wasn't sure how it pertained to this situation exactly, "Yeah, of course. The best three weeks of SEP."

"Yeah well... Imagine that intensity but all the time and no outlet and crippling body hatred."

Oh...

Jack looked hard at Gabe who had taken to studying the comforters instead, grip around the lube bottle tight enough to almost be crushing it. Gently, he took Gabe's fist in both his hands and brought it up to his lips, kissing each knuckle until his husband's grip relaxed and he could set the bottle aside. "Gabe... Look at me." It was reluctant, but Gabriel finally met his eyes. "I'm here now. You can use me however you need me, sunshine. Take what you need."

It was quiet a moment and then Gabe sighed, twisting his hand to tangle fingers with one of Jack's, wrapping his free arm around Jack's neck. "I don't want to use you. I love you."

"I love you too." Jack said back immediately and Gabe finally let through a small smile. Then he suddenly pushed his hips forward into Jack's and both of them groaned in unison. Jack managed to huff out a chuckle in response, "Alright, I get it." He reached back for the lube bottle, "How do you want me?"

"Just like this."

"You or me?"

"Me."

Jack hummed and kissed Gabriel's temple before twisting their joined hands and pouring lube between their palms, making their hands sticky. "You get me, I'll get you, yeah?"

Gabe nodded and laid his head against Jack's shoulder as their lubed hands separated and he dropped his own down between their legs to take his husband in hand.

Jack shuddered but didn't falter in his own duties, reaching around to prepare Gabriel for him.

At the initial intrusion, Gabe tensed but sighed a second later and relaxed into it. It didn't take long before he became impatient though and started trying to grind his hips down. "You're going to break my wrist if you keep this up." Jack commented idly.

Gabriel bit his collar bone in retaliation and Jack yelped.

"Ow! Alright, fine. Up you go then. Nice and easy."

Gabriel rose to his knees again, watching between them as they lined themselves up and then, with Jack's hands on his hips guiding him, he slowly sank down.

At first it was overwhelming, Gabriel's mouth dropped open, his eyes closing tightly and his head tipping back, but the burn became bearable and the rest of the descent was effortless. Jack's arms held him up, strong and dependable just as he remembered and held him close until he was hilted and they just breathed together for a while, content to stay still and breathe each other in. But this was an itch to scratch 6 years in the making and Gabriel couldn't wait for too long before he had to feel more of his husband; had to nuzzle gently against Jack's face and experimentally circle his hips, causing them both to groan into each other's mouths.

Jack was the one to surge forward and capture Gabriel's lips, a hand settling at the small of his back and the other against the back of his neck, a grounding presence. Gabe appreciated it. He needed it. And as he started moving more, gasping when Jack's own hips pushed up to meet him, he slowly felt all the emotion held in for 6 years in a knotted ball of angry yarn unravel inside him until the tears were freely flowing down his cheeks.

Jack was faring no better, his own eyes already wet. He never thought he'd get to have this again. Never wanted to even try with anyone else. But here they were, all that worry unnecessary in the face of finding each other alive and mostly whole again.

Their arms wrapped around each other and Jack held on as tight as he could, hands splayed against Gabriel's skin, against his back like letting go would cause his husband to disappear. But after a while, Gabe's expression began to twist with pain and Jack only noticed while pressing kisses all over his face.

Gabriel leaned back a little and whimpered lightly.

"What's wrong?" Jack whispered, scared to speak too loudly, as though it would break whatever illusion this could possibly be.

"Knees." Gabe responded quietly, trying to unpin his legs from beneath his weight.

Jack hummed, and moved his hands down Gabe's sides to his hips and then to his legs where he gently stretched them out behind his back. In the process, this pushed Jack even deeper and they both made soft choked noises. As soon as he recovered, though, he went straight to work, massaging the pins and needles out of Gabriel's legs and the soreness out of his knees. Gabe's expression, as he used Jack's own knees as leverage to keep his hips moving, was one of appreciation. Then Jack grabbed his hips and guided him into his own thrusts and Gabe's arms gave out, dropping him down onto the comforter between Jack's legs.

Gabe panted but shivered now that he was away from Jack's body heat and Jack frowned, looking around until his eyes landed on his jacket on the nightstand next to the bed. He pondered it for a moment, pausing, but Gabe whined and struggled against him, trying to move his hips again and his brain nearly short circuited. God, he missed those sounds! He missed everything.

Quickly, Jack grabbed his jacket and yanked it over to them. "Here." He opened it up and helped Gabe sit up a little to put it on, the red and blue standing out against his skin. It did something to his brain to see his husband wearing the jacket. He wasn't sure why or how but he pulled Gabriel as close as he could, and bounced him on his lap, thrusting steady and firm and nuzzling as far into Gabriel's neck as their position would allow.

Gabriel let out an aborted noise at the manhandling, hands grappling at Jack's back as he tried to hold on, nails digging in and leaving scratch marks that Jack couldn't even feel. He just tucked as close as he could and laved his tongue over his husband's pulse point, knowing it drove the other man crazy. Gabe bucked against him and Jack spread his knees a little as he felt Gabriel's ankles lock behind his back.

He kept the pace slow, content to just bask in Gabriel's increasingly louder moans and swears and feel the pulse of the love they were making. It was this heady, heavy thing, thick and all-consuming. Lucid lust in the lungs and the air between them, viscous like a plasma but not suffocating. It was love and hope and fear and need and home. It was home. It had always been home, the two of them. Never a place to retire to, but a person instead. And neither of them had been home for 6 years. 6 years too long.

Gabriel jerked against him suddenly, the leather on his shoulders creaking as his hips jumped when Jack brushed against that spot inside him that overwhelmed him. He was so close. If Jack was being honest with himself, he wasn't far behind.

Jack brought his knees under him and laid Gabriel back on the mattress, taking a moment to observe the way he was flushed and panting in nothing but his vigilante jacket. Idly he wished his memory was eidetic.

Then Gabriel reached out to him with a soft sound of want and Jack couldn't deny him anything. Never had been able to.

Jack lowered himself down so their bellies were flush, Gabriel's cock caught between them, and met his husband's lips with his own; a deep languid kiss as he started his rhythm back up but was clearly trying to search for that spot he had brushed earlier with his hips. When Gabriel broke their kiss to gasp, he knew he'd found it and focused only on that spot, angling his hips to hit it every time.

He watched as Gabriel's mouth dropped open and his eyes shut tight again, and took that moment to sneak a hand between them and stroke Gabriel's neglected cock in time with his thrusts. Greedily, he tried to commit to memory the way Gabriel arched against him with a strangled moan that suddenly cut off into a gasp as his hips jumped and he finally came. His body seized and Jack's hips stuttered against him at the grip. He dropped his head to Gabe's chest and sped his thrusts up, quickly trying to chase his own release. It only took a couple more times before he was coming too and they were both panting into the space between them.

After a moment, Jack raised up to look at Gabriel, kissing away the wet streaks on his cheeks tenderly. "Good?"

Gabriel took a deep breath and answered with it in a sigh, "Yeah."

"Good." he kissed Gabriel's nose once, then chastely on his mouth, forgiving the lack of reciprocation, "I love you."

"Mmh... Love you too."

There was something to be said about the long road they had ahead of them in this healing process. There was a lot they had to talk about still but they both knew that they could make it through. Reconciliation wasn't going to happen overnight, but if they could stop looking for the resolution and start feeling for it instead, they'd be just fine.

Jack leaned forward with a small smile and kissed Gabriel's forehead, his heart swelling with more love and adoration than he ever thought it would again, "You can go back to sleep now, angel. I've got your back."

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Gabriel Reyes Day!
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Love it? Hate it? Please let me know!!
> 
> You can find me at [kaiperion.tumblr.com](kaiperion.tumblr.com). Stop by and say hello!


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